lexophiles

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 21-Jun-2014 8:40:00

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe one who loves using words in rather unique ways, such as: "You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or
"to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best one is held every year. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end of the submitted entries.

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. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

. The batteries were given out free of charge.

. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

. A will is a dead giveaway.

. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

. When you've seen one Shopping Center you've seen a Mall.

. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.

. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

And the winner:

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

Post 2 by Raskolnikov (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Saturday, 21-Jun-2014 13:32:52

Good one. The one about the fellow being all right now is excellent.

There must be some way to stop the rackety murder outside my bedroom window each morning when my stupid neighbor’s rooster crows at dawn.

Not as good as the lexophiles in the original post but thought I'd give it a try.

Post 3 by forereel (Just posting.) on Saturday, 21-Jun-2014 18:48:08

Hehe!

Post 4 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Wednesday, 25-Jun-2014 13:44:27

Great! I love this kind of humor.

Thanks.

Bob

Post 5 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Wednesday, 02-Jul-2014 19:24:07

Good stuff